If you can read this you're not from here.
The problem with a government-run trust fund is that there is too little of either.
Diapers and congressmen need to be changed frequently for much the same Reason.
Indicator broke, watch for finger!
Eat beans, not beings.
I'm pro-Life-jacket, and I boat.
Thank you for NOT being perky.
I fought the lawn and the lawn won.
Pay no attention to that man behind the curtain.
The more things change, the more they remain insane.
Those who abandon their dreams will discourage yours.
I DARE to keep cops off donuts.
I think you left the stove on.
Visualize Whirled Peas.
The hell with world peace. Visualize using your bloody turn signal.
My son is getting out for good behavior at Father Baker's Reform School.
Geneology: Chasing your own tale.
I never worry when I get lost... I just change where I want to go.
Got kleptomania ? Take something for it.
Do not adjust your mind, the fault is with reality.
Back up my hard drive? How do I put it in reverse?
I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.
Everyone has a photographic memory. Some don't have film.
When the chips are down, the buffalo is empty.
Seen it all, done it all, can't remember most of it.
Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't.
I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe.
He's always late. His ancestors arrived on the June Flower.
You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted, then used against you.
I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be without sponges..?
Honk if you love peace and quiet.
Despite the cost of living, have you noticed how it remains so popular?
A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.
Save the whales. Collect the whole set.
On the other hand, you have different fingers.
Dear IRS: I would like to cancel my subscription. Please remove my name from your mailing list.