Bumper Snickers

• If you can read this you're not from here.
• The problem with a government-run trust fund is that there is too little of either.
• Diapers and congressmen need to be changed frequently for much the same Reason.
• Indicator broke, watch for finger!

• Eat beans, not beings.

• I'm pro-Life-jacket, and I boat.

• Thank you for NOT being perky.
• I fought the lawn and the lawn won.
• Pay no attention to that man behind the curtain.
• The more things change, the more they remain insane.
• Those who abandon their dreams will discourage yours.
• I DARE to keep cops off donuts.
• I think you left the stove on.
• Visualize Whirled Peas.
• The hell with world peace. Visualize using your bloody turn signal.
• My son is getting out for good behavior at Father Baker's Reform School.
• Geneology: Chasing your own tale.
• I never worry when I get lost... I just change where I want to go.
• Got kleptomania ? Take something for it.
• Do not adjust your mind, the fault is with reality.
• Back up my hard drive? How do I put it in reverse?
• I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.
• Everyone has a photographic memory. Some don't have film.
• When the chips are down, the buffalo is empty.
• Seen it all, done it all, can't remember most of it.
• Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't.
• I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe.
• He's always late. His ancestors arrived on the June Flower.
• You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted, then used against you.
• I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be without sponges..?
• Honk if you love peace and quiet.
• Despite the cost of living, have you noticed how it remains so popular?
• A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.
• Save the whales. Collect the whole set.
• On the other hand, you have different fingers.
• Dear IRS: I would like to cancel my subscription. Please remove my name from your mailing list.